the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
