Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
