My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
