Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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