i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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