don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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