I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Randomize
