why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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