Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
