I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
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