It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
