You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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