Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
