My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
