I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize