I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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