Can Purell be used as lube?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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