yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
they're like a gay fantastic four
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
