I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
