how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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