All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
