On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
should my penis look like a turkey
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
this is an emotional support booty call
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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