Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
