I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
