I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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