why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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