Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
