Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
