beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
