he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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