I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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