The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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