Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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