he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
