My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
