Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize