i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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