OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
