That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
