can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
