There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
