I wanna passion pit in your ass
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
