Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize