Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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