your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
