My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
