i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
