:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
