Pants 0. Shit 1.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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