READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
