Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
if only i could text you this smell
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
