life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
