why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
