i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
