I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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