Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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