When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
