But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
